dude,where's my car ?

Jesse: Who's Johnny Potsmoker?
Chester: Oh ,that's my alter ego.
Jesse: Wait, I thought Johnny Potsmoker was MY alter ego.
Chester: No. Yours is Smokey McPot.
Jesse: Oh yeah.

Jesse: Dude, where's my car?
Chester: Where's your car dude?
Jesse: DUDE, where's my car?
Chester: Where's your car dude?

[Jesse and Chester have tattoos on their backs that say "dude" and "sweet."]
Jesse: Dude! You got a tattoo!
Chester: So do you, dude! Dude, what does my tattoo say?
Jesse: "Sweet!" What about mine?
Chester: "Dude!" What does mine say?
Jesse: "Sweet!" What about mine?
Chester: "Dude!" What does mine say?
Jesse: "Sweet!" What about mine?
Chester: "Dude!" What does mine say?
Jesse: "Sweet!" What about mine?
Chester: "Dude!" But what does mine say?
Jesse: "Sweet!" What about mine?
Chester: "Dude!" What does mine say?
Jesse: "S - wee - t!" What about mine?
[later]
Chester: [angry] "Dude!" What does mine say?
Jesse: [screaming] "Sweet!"

Chinese Food Intercom: And then?
Jesse: And then...
[laughs nervously]
Jesse: I'm gonna come in there...
[grows livid]
Jesse: and I'm gonna put my foot in your [censored] IF YOU SAY "AND THEN" AGAIN!'!
[pause; Jesse almost gives in]
Chinese Food Intercom: [repeatedly] And then! And then! And then! And then! And then! And then! And then! And then! And then! And then! And then! And then!
[Jesse furiously smashes the speaker box, but Chester and Nelson pull him back inside the car, and they drive away]
Chinese Food Intercom: [severely damaged] And then...?
[Jesse attacked a speaker box]
Chester: Well, you didn't have to go all aggro on that speaker box, dude.
Jesse: I'm not the one who called the Dalia Lama a frog!